she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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