We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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