Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
