I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
