Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
