What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
