OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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