Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize