If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
foreskin is a definite game changer
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize