"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
