I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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