? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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