Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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