Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
