Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
