When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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