think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
