It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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