I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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