thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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