That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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