you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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