do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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