And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize