This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
