remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
