no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
