I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize