Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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