im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
