So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
