dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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