I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
