You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
