I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize