Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
