We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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