the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
