the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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