If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
