Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
