This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
