the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
