she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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