i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
