you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
