Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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