My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
