I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
