Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
No subtext here. People are naked.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
