so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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