so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
