I'm really into asian looking animals
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
