lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
