So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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