I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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