fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
