Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
