why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
