I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
