if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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