summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Floor bacon is actually really good
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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