I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
